rightingpoemry

Lunar Dream

Page history last edited by Anonymous 3 yrs ago

Lunar Dream

--RFRY, written and upped 24 Jun 06

Lunar Dream has attempts--in which you can see my entire process of writing the poem (except the few notes I sketched out earlier today) in my conserved write/rewrite/rewrite without erasing modus opperandi. v2 is good, but the poem is certainly not yet done. I thought I'd put it out now as it's imtimately related to Span and some of the other work I've been doing recently. I've been thinking of making it and "Span" into a 'dream' series, but I don't know how well that would work.--RFRY

Version 3 is a semi-complete revision of Lunar Dream. Worked with some of the great images and ideas Ricky put forward, and stuck pretty closely to the theme. Sorry for the brief hiatus, and thanks for the kick in the ass via text messaging, Ricky. Enjoy. - Noah

Lunar Dream v3 RF is my further work on this, after too long a hiatus. Though I didn't integrate as much of Noah's excellent reimagining as I had thought I would. As my v3 stands, it's not the most elegent poem I've ever written, but I think that the raw material is all there, finally and much better organized than it was before.--RFRY

Lunar Dream v4 RF is the product of the interplay here between Noah's influence and the realization that I particularly liked Susan's economy of line, particularly because my own lines seems to be sprawling beyond my control lately. (Only a poet as rigidly obsessed with cutting and control as I am could say that about my recent work, so take that for what it's worth.) Anyway, I've reliniated, trimmed, rewritten and, in a way, refocued the poem to try to get it under control and get it to be *elegant* again. I've cut / reduced some of the main metaphors, points and hopefully the poem rests now on the imagery. Let me know what you think.--RFRY